AGoT Tyrion 2: no grumkin, all snark

Tyrion calls Jon “remarkably polite for a bastard.” I’d say he’s remarkably polite because he’s a bastard. Either way, Tyrion manages to break Jon’s cool for the first time in the book, by stating what he believes to be the unromantic truth about the Night’s Watch: that they’re a bunch of criminals (true) guarding the wall against imaginary foes (yeah, right, and–as Tyrion also says in this chapter–“there are no dragons.” But “life is full of these little ironies.”)

Tyrion also reflects that Jon’s unknown mother “had left little of herself in her son.” We’ll see.

Other fun facts about Tyrion we learn in this chapter: he is a pyro(!), has homicidal fantasies about his immediate family, and has difficulty walking (less than a hundred pages after doing a handspring/somersault).

Finally, #love this line:

The Lannisters never declined, graciously or otherwise. The Lannisters took what was offered.

Bonus: in this chapter we meet Yoren: “stooped and sinister” and unwashed, with matted and lice-filled black hair and beard and a twisted shoulder.


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